Lead Me
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The brush of your lips drive me.
The touch of your hands turn me,
The sound of your voice direct me.
I'm your follower. You save me from the dark.
Your like my  little flash light i never forgot.
When its cold and rainy your what keeps me up and dreamy.
It seems no matter where i go your there to hold my hand.
Skys of sun or skys of stars, you always pull through.
So its you to eternity i will be bound to.
You lead me.

I Swear..
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He has a certain walk to him. No simple step by step.
I swear he has my heart skip by skip.
He has a different talk with him. No ordinary voice.
I swear he has me under his spell word for word.
He has a special smile on his face. No regular grin.
I swear hes driving me dizzy.
He has a collage to those eyes. No normal glance.
I swear I can't look anywhere but there.
He has an effect on me. No one else holds.
I swear, its so unfair.

Anonymously...Introduction to Chapter One
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This book is stictly for us nine teenangers to talk about our lives. About how we feel about what has happened to us. How we look at this things in the same world as all of you. What goes through our minds and how we handle the horrible itching problems we face. The lies we have been told. The stories we keep with us everyday. We will be telling you strangers who we are in the inside. Congraudualtions.
Once you have read just a few pages of this you will come to realize we aren't the type or kind of poeple who want some stranger's opinion upon if we need help or if we need a freind to go to. A friend is a person who has been there through it all. You people, your not freinds. No offense.
On the contray we will make an acception throughout this, all of you are our firends. Yay? Hm. That will be up to you. The real us will remain hidden, we all are anonymous, these names are not real, where we live is classified, you will never know who we truly are, we are nine secrets. Welcome to our world.

Note: This is fiction.

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Could we dance
Could we sit
Could we watch
Just one more second longer..with you
Minuets go by like hours..Just being beside...you
Feeling your touch it hurts
A simple pain, not too much
Crying seems much to easy without you at my side
But when all comes back...
Its your smiles, your laughs, you eyes, who've got my back...
Words chilling my spine
It's this sound...that sound who has me bound...
The love...keeping me still...
When even life gets me down...I wait till you come around..
It's that time..
When i think...
Could we dance
Could we sit
Could we watch
Just one second longer..
That's all it takes to get me awake..
My smile it perks
My eyes they spark
For...Not him or her...only..for...you...

I love you Alex ♥

Wish in my Pocket
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It's there i feel it.
Everywhere i go.
I've got a wish in my pocket...
Yet nodobdy knows..
I've seen things fly far
I've seen things come close
Even then the difference is no matter
'Cause I've got a wish in my pocket..

Anything and Everything
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People, they look for answers straight through my eyes
Glossy and green with a story to read
They look for some sort of sign, but don't get to far
I'm unread, a book without a cover
Most would close me at first sight
But you continue to flip through
Your smile has me wary
Here, cant we just make it easy
Lets end it with me and you

You have me on my toes with no where else to go
With a pull to my hips to that soft gentle touch to my lips

There's this pain in my chest burning down all my regrets
Is it just me or do you feel this too
I'm caught in a rut with nothing but this
You have me in knots, I'm so tangled up
I'm out on my sleeve but your blind as a bat
It's hard to bare not knowing if you truly care

You have me on my toes with no where else to go
With that pull to my hips to that soft gentle touch to my lips

I can't just stop thinking 'bout you
Your on my mind and got me tied
One hand behind your back
You make up for everything i lack
Doubts get me down
But you always follow through and pick me back up
Anything and everything should be alright as long as i got you
With you by my side I have the tingle in my stomach
Nothing makes it go away, nothing will, till the day i lose you

Falling back i will not forget
I will remember it all
You and you and you
That's it, that's all
Because with you I'm nothing at all

You have me on my toes with no where else to go
With a pull to my hips to that soft gentle touch to my lips

Can You See Me?
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The city lights are bright as i stand out in the night.
The sky staring down at me.
The stars seem so close.
But feel so far away.
If i could believe you were up there, smiling down at me.
It would be heaven.
Here, knowing you see me..
Can you see me?

I'll never know.

Chapter 1 (CONTINUED FROM link: http://icudcareless.livejournal.com/1668.html )
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Waking to this unsatisfying world every morning isn't the best. I wake up to three times and go back to sleep before i ever actually get up and get ready.
The third alarm sounded and trying to fight the urge to press the snooze button again i leaned over and unplugged the alarm. Stupid alarm is broken. Doesn't turf off. I have to plug it in and unplug it everyday. Uhg.
Exhausted i pulled my shirt off and slipped into another. Simple style. Nothing poppy, saying, look at me. A solid dark green t-shirt and demin skinny jeans. Every morning is just like the one before. I get up, get ready, and walk over to Meadows High School. Come on Cassie hurry up. I've got twenty minuets, if i can get there in fiffeen i can maybe hang out with Reid.

It wasn't long before i was walking up to my school. It's kind of plain, simple outside hallways, a gym, a mulit, track, foot ball feild, the usual. Nothing special. Yes five minuets until the first bell. Where would Reid be? It's Tuesday so probably B wing? Lets find out.
Almost in a speed walk i made my way through the halls to get to B wing.
There he is. Reid stood with Collin up agaisnt the door of first class today. One foot against the door and the other crumbling the leave that laid beneath his black and white checkered van.
I called out to him as i turned the corner, "Hey Re-"
I stopped my sentence as my back plopped against the wall beside me, an arm above my head, teal eyes staring down at me, "Hey Babe." Bret said blowing his watermelon scent to my face. I faked a smile and nodded up at him, "Morning."
He looked me up and down and gave a chuckle, "Nice laces."
Following his eyes down to my shoes i saw my neon blue laces laced inside my solid black converse. "Ya Reid got them for me for my birthday." Which you forgot meat head.
"Oh really?" he said glancing down the hall to Reid who was laughing loud as ever, most likely at Collin, he wants to be comedian when he is older, he's hella funny.
"Yeah." Maybe he is remmbering my birthday now that i brought it up?
"Thats cool." Or not?
"I guess..." i said as i still looked at Reid.
Hes so tall. What? Maybe five elleven? Maybe ive ten and a half. Pretty slim. Especially in those jeans. Purple is his color, his favorite actually, and it looks nice with his black hair...and his eyes. Sworms of greens, dark greens-"Hey" Bret caught my attention and turned my chin to him. "I missed you yesterday, we didn't see much of eachother, i was...busy."
With what? God. "I know huh?" i said with a grin saying i-hate-you-for-lying-straight-to-my-face-ass-hole. But he didn't seem to notice at all.
Actually he didn't care, actually he was just being a boy. A stupid one at that.
"Well..." he said lowly as he leaned in. His blonde hair curling at his neck coming closer, "here..." he breathed in my ear as he kissed my cheek. I have t admit, he may be an asshole, but damn he was sexy sometimes. The way he stood close, for bragging of course, but his body against mine was stll irrestiable. I let him lean close to me, "Forgive me for not doing that yesterday?"
"Maybe." i said sticking my tounge out at him. Always fun to flirt with him.
"Maybe? I can't except that, hmm is there, " he leaned to my lips barely brushing them with his, "any other way i could possibly," the way he said possibly came out like an angel was talking, "get you to forgive me? Hm?"
I giggled before telling him to kiss me. But I ddin't have to, he already was.
Besides the fact he is a total ass hole, he is an amazing kisser, alot practice or experince i guess.

Chapter 1 (following Preview)
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Chapter One

"He just wouldn't understand." I retorted as he gave me that worried glance.
"How do you know that for sure?" he asked questioningly.
My eyes dropped from his. Maybe because I don't want to tell him? "I just do ok? He wouldn't."
He wasn't convinced. Then again Reid never fell for my foolish acts, never. "Did you give him the chance to?"
Why would i? "No. I don't want to put a burden on him." Bret isn't the guy to understand, I don't even want him to try. Not that he would even do that.
He hummed a tune to himself before he replied to me, "Just give the guy a chance."
"No Reid."
Reid's eyes met mine, his jade green eyes reflected mine. I couldn't look away. That is, before he broke our eye contact, "Why not?"
I was losing excuses, Get off my back dude...
"Stop it. I can't. I won't. He wouldn't understand." i said as we approached my house. i walked up through the pave way to my door and didn't take the time to look back at him.
Then he said something, something i couldn't make sense of, "Then find the person who wiil."
Uh what? I turned back to him and realized the yards of space between us.
"What do you-"
He cut me off before i could finish, "See ya, Cassie." he waved behind his back as he continued walking. Leaving me pondering and pondering of what he meant. He had to be wrong. Nobody will ever understand.

Sitting down on my couch i recalled the bruise on my left arm. I stared at it for a while. Maybe seconds. Maybe minuets. I don't know how long, but however long i spent looking at that mark, it would never take back the moments it took to put it on me, all of the marks i have on my body, nobody or anything could change those moments. Not now.
I remember everything about that evning. The color of the sky. The smell of the salt from the ocean breeze. The scream of his voice. The loud percing, heart breaking, ear bleeding voice. Everything. 
I wish it would just stop. Please make it stop. I hate this. So. Fucking. Much.
The first thing i can remember was the whip of his hands throwing in the air. I dodged the swingning of them before taking a sprint to the kitchen.
"Stop it!" I screeched completely scared out of my mind.
His throat coughed before he yelped back, "I'm the boss around here now get you ass over here now!"
My heart thumped to the harsh tone he exhaled. The contiuosly pouring tears continued to shed.
The tears were welding up in my eyes and making it hard to see. He would win. He always wins.
Feriously he stomped his way closer to me, in retreat i took steps back, "I'm going to count to three if you dont get over here by three i will kill you."

Thats the last thing i remember fom that night, all i want to remember, if i could, i would forget all of it, along with everything else pointless that has happned, everything horrible that has happened. Only if i could...-"Hey."
Surprised i jumped and shot my head toward the voice. Almost weakly I whinced, "Hey Dad."
His prickling black hairs on his chin were gross, his gray dark eyes were hurendous, I hate you.
Normal as he could be, he plotted on the couch beside me, "How was school?"
Slugglsihly I lacked on answering him, "Fine."
It is these conversations that I wish he would stop continuing.One day he is trying to be the wrold's best Dad, then oher nights, he is the world's worse night mare. Great.
"Just fine? How are them boys at school? They must like a pretty thing like you right?" Don't make me barf.
"I don't know." He doesn't know about Bret, not that i would introduce them even if i did like Bret, he is an ass hole, then again, they might get along well huh? He knows Reid, not well, he can't even remember his name, weird 'considering we've known Reid for what, eigth years? Who knows.
"Well maybe you just got to put yourslef out ther ya know?" Oh my God. Go. Away.
Trying not to make it to notceable of my obvious discomfort i stood up slowly, "Maybe." then i made my escape, up the stairs and to my room. Safe.
There i fell to my bed and hugged a pillow to me. Why do you wake up? Can't i just sleep forever?  I never ever want to wake up. Wake up to him. Him. Him. HIm! Fuck. I wish he would leave, i can take care of myslef. I do take care of myself. Or i could live with Grams, but she is old, i'd be a burden. I would do anything to get out of this hell.
Staring at me ceiling i hear my cell phone go off. Text message. Grabbing my phone off my dresser i opened my message.
"Reid." i said with a smile.
Text Message
From: Reid
Time: 8:46
Hey Cass, hope everything is alright, if it isnt text me, call me, idc come to my house. Door is unlocked for you in case you need me, like always.
Holding my grin i clicked the center button to reply. Hah, thanks Bud. I'm ok, Dad had another one of those creepy moments I've told you 'bout. Lol. But if i need you I'll get a hold of ya.
As the sending bar appeared on my screen i layed back on my bed pulling the covers over me. He always finds away to make me smile. Best freind ever.
Agin hearing my ohone go off i opened the message.
Text Message
From: Reid
Time: 8:58
Lol I'm sorry, that must make you unstable huh? Or shall i say, more unstable then you already are;)...jk:) Haha.
Laughing i replied without hesitating. You making fun of me!? Wanna fight brooo? Lol:)
Our texting kept going on and on. We always do this until one of us falls asleep.
Half asleep i heard my phone go off again for probably the fifyth time now tonight.
"Oh." i said in a sigh seeing a message from Bret.
Text Message
From: Bret
Time: 12:51
Good night.
Thinking first i didn't reply. He always does this, so late too. He gets home late like every night. I don't know why, I don't ask.
Quickly i replied, Night.
Laying my head deeper into my pillow i slid under my covers more. Tomorrow is school. Tuesday. Just great.  Damn I hate Tuesdays. I have to walk Bret home again. I thought it is the guy who walks the girl home? No? Maybe I'm wrong. I don't care really. I guess?
The music of my phone got me again. I clciked open and saw a message from Reid again.
Text Message
Time: 12:56
Oops. Sorry lol i fell asleep. Next time it'll be you though! Haha goodnight Cass. See ya:P Peace.
Rolling my eyes i sent my last reply for tonight, Hahhh you wish:P Your always the one to fall asleep and it won't change! Night lol, see ya.
Not even taking the time to watch the sending bar i closed my eyes and fell to sleep.

My Teeth hurt..
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So i woke up this morning and thought "Uhg school."

So i got to school thinking "Wow this day will be utterly boring.." Then the blank stare i held down to my feet changed to a huge perky grin as Travis appeared up the hall :) my thought went from boredom to "Omg:)"

So i got into drama class thinking "Fuck...Mr. Knox..i hate this class...along with these stupid girls who have something against me ALTHOUGH i didn't do shit.."---So it turned out it didn't go as bad as i panned, the stupid girls left me alone (for the most part) and i enjoyed watching Davis run like a rabbit running from everyone:D

So i left drama for break. There i met with him. Alex:) Which was great knowing i was going to get a hug, Which i got. And it was better then i thought i t would be, like always.

So Alex and i walked to PE and i was down cause i thought, "Dammit, PE means running, which i don't mind, when its cold, BUT it isn't cold today. Damn."---Then Mr Holley comes out with that clip board of his, taking roll that i just have to be listed on. I began thinking about everywhere else i could be other then here. Then when i heard the words, "You could either stay here and play some baseball or join Mr. Krist's class in the multi to watch a drama performance you may." So i followed Branden and Zane to the multi. Sat and watched the play, which was pretty slow till the end. It all fell to an exciting end where everything messes up. Story of my life much?

So PE was done and i had to head for English, then rembering "Shit, I have to do my Romeo and Juliet speech..."--then looking over at the clock hung above in my seat i shifted, "Yes, i have a dentist appointment."--So i got out of that, luckily i did because that would totally suck if i had to improv the entire speech.

So i got to the dentist, i got in the chair, then thought "This better not hurt."--She pushed and pulled, dammit it hurt. So now im sitting at my mom's work thinking, "My teeth hurt."


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